I don't really think it should be easy. Easy is boring, but shouldn't it be a little less hard? I enjoy all my games on easy mode first play through.
Hmmm, maybe just maybe I have already played through on easy and this insanity mode. Nah, it is still too boring more like hard mode. Insanity would need more explosions and knife fights.
Let's face it, i might not be good at knife fights. If I die, it's game over. I realize objectively life is what you make of it but face it some of us are clearly dealt a better starting hand and draw way better cards by chance.
I said face it twice. Hmmm, wonder if that means anything. Probably, it probably means that I am stuck with all the choices I have from all of the choices I have made. This actually seems like a sound enough theory.
I find as I get older that I worry more about missing out on all the kinds of experiences and things that I want to do or see before I kick the can. Sure I can see more in my next life but I want to achieve way to much in this one!
See what happens when I'm lying here on the sofa to sick to do my microeconomics homework! I get philosophical.
Yes, even I have surprised myself. I knew I was smart, so it doesn't surprise me that I can get accepted, what surprises me if how far this little ol' nut job has actually made it. SURE it only took me FOREVER to get my act together, but you know
As the saying goes, "Your first 40 years of childhood are the hardest!" Then there are other really cool sayings such as; "You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream." C.S. Lewis.
SO I feel all backed up and justified! READY! SET! (RUN SCREAMING LIKE MY HAIR IS ON FIRE)!! GO!!!!!!
I feel a little bit of trepidation. Mostly about getting back in the swing of learning, assignments, and school life in general. This is always a stressful time in anyones life, but it can also be extremely rewarding and enriching. I love to learn and I am excited to take off in a brand new direction! I am ready to kick a$$ and take names. Not a whole lot different from anything else I have
Okay, that is SOOOOOOOOOOO boring. How about I talk about video games? I have been playing the new
Let's just talk about this for a minute. I seem to have an issue finishing
I have been wanting to play the old adventure point and click stuff lately, I just tried a new game called LIfe is strange. It is set in Oregon and it is actually a very nice new take on point and click play. The art and gameplay are fresh and the story is pretty interesting. In this game you play a kid who can rewind time and change what happened, this is pretty damn cool. I played the first episode and paid for the others. The second is downloading as we speak, but I am sure I will enjoy it. I must say I really enjoy these new
Went on a road trip with my best friend for her bday to crescent city. I LOVE that I am close to the beach again. I miss it being a drive-able day thing to do. I will be enjoying all new outdoor adventures this summer which I hope will whip me into shape and will mean a lot of blogs of my new found spots in the rogue valley! So, my audience of noone, enjoy!
I am almost surprised that I still went considering I thought I would die from being a sissy at showing up. I have some of the most awful social anxiety sometimes! So I showed up and a monk directed me on where to park but I am assuming she doesn't drive all that often because she wanted me to park EXTREMELY close to the other cars. I really could NOT get out of the car after she had me backing in and out so many times. So this was pretty funny in retrospect but at the time it was a bit unnerving. I never did seem to achieve whatever it was she wanted. I was thinking later that maybe someone should make markers for parking spots to make that situation easier for them (and us).
After I was finally our of the car I then was directed into the office to check in a receive my room. I admit I was a little nervous about sharing the space with a stranger, and I did have the remnants of my cold. I was given a nice tour by one of the monks and shown my room to unpack.
In all of the rooms and halls of the guest house there is very beautiful art! It is very nice to enjoy and in your room a small shelf beneath it also provides a place for a traveling alter if you wish.
The view from outside the guest house of Mount Shasta. With the naked eye it is really much closer than the camera seems to be able to capture. >
Over all it was a very GOOD experience. I was surprised at how tired I was at he end of each night. Now I must confess you are not supposed to have you cell phone on, much less be using it. So I did not take a ton of pictures just snapped a few quickly and shut it off and put it away. I didn't want to get busted :).
The statues and shrines and grounds are all very cool and I wish I could have walked around and got a ton of super cool shots. There are some very zen spots throughout the place to chill and meditate as well. The monks are all very accommodating and really are a great group of people. They all have different personalities. I tend to like the more serious ones a lot! During the stay you have an option for spiritual counsel. I nervously signed up and ended up having a very illuminating discussion with a monk. I really felt humbled by the simple wisdom that was imparted to me. It was a very deep experience of realizing just how hard we make life!
While staying there I also learned that because they offer all the stays for free (amazingly as well as most of their books). The operate on the concept of Dana. If you visit please leave the best you can according to your means. I calculated the cost of two nights at a motel, the food, and the cost of books.
<< This was in all of the toilets at the Shasta Abbey. I had a chuckle at it the entire time. There were little such things all throughout the place that were helpful for keeping mindful and asking for a blessing. Hey, nobody wants a disaster in the water closet!!
And did I mention all of the free literature about Buddhism, Zen Soto Buddhism, stories, and Dharma talks on CD they offer? Yes I did, just wanted to mention it again.
I am very stressed out and nervous because moving is BIG! But I just know it will be better over the hill, so much to do and many more jobs.
I plan on driving to a Zen Buddhist monastery to stay they weekend. This means I will have to be all about that sacred silence. This will be interesting for anyone who loves to talk such as I do. But over the years I have learned the value of silence, so maybe it wouldn't hurt to practice it a little more.
I am a bit freaked out about doing something wrong or just making a fool out of myself but they say you learn best through humility.
I have recently had some issues with anxiety so I figured that this should be a great way to fight it. So now my only concern is that I have a cold and I read not to go if I am sick, so if I can clear it up in the next 4 days... I am able to go, if not I will have to wait a month, and I might have a job or client by then so I better get better. If only there was a cure for the cold!
A good place to read about how women make it through everything. It is also a nice way to realize how strong you are and how much worse things could really be and most important how we make it through and gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and hopefully are happier.
Now speaking of the foster home I am very happy to report that being laid off allowed me the time to actually work on get it opened. Made about 4000.00 in changes to the house I didn't need to for a client that never moved in but o'well it is done in the future if it need be. In less that 6 weeks I had myself licensed for an occupancy of 2 people and my very first client. I was optimistic, excited, and so ignorant!!
Well, my first client ended up not working out in a really big way. First off there were several red flags I ignored, and omissions by previous providers and the state, second there was the fact I had no experience and third there was just good ol' universe deciding I should learn a lesson the hard way. Well my client unbeknownst to me was a bit dangerous, and very violent, and I was not licensed or train for this type of individual and it ended in animal torture and me getting beat up and the police escorting this person out of my life. I learned to think very hard about who is moving in, their personalities and their PAST and most off to make sure that I have ALL the information on the person, the entire picture. I also learned about rules and boundaries and setting up my home more effectively. I also learned that PTSD sucks and as I am typing this I a m have a nice anxiety attack reliving the experience!!
Okay it didn't all go to hell and I am taking a nice vacation to the coast with the kids on my unemployment money.
Life is good, life is hard, live is crazy. Believe in your journey! Loves!